Rule 153 A

It is Mustahab that after the burial, the bereaved family is consoled, and that they should be prayed for in regards to their well-being. However, if the condolence is given long after the death, and if it serves to revive the sorrowful memories, then it should be avoided.

It is Mustahab that food be sent to the members of the family of the deceased for 3 days. It is, however, Makruh to eat with them in their homes.

The Discouragement Of Eating With The Members Of The Family Of The Deceased For Three Days, And The Recommendation Of Sending Food To Their House

محمد بن علي بن الحسين قال: قال الصادق عليه السلام: الأكل عند أهل المصيبة من عمل أهل الجاهلية ، والسنة البعث إليهم بالطعام كما أمر به النبي صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم في آل جعفر بن أبي طالب لما جاء نعيه.

Muhammad Ibn ‘Ali Ibn al-Husayn said, al-Sadiq (‘a) said, “Eating food with the members of the family of the deceased is one of the actions of the people of Ignorance (the period before the Prophet (S)). However, the way of Islam is that food should be sent to their house, just as the Prophet (S) did after the passing away of Ja’far Ibn Abi Talib (‘a).1”

عن مرازم قال: سمعت أبا عبد الله عليه السلام يقول: لما قتل جعفر بن أبي طالب دخل رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم على أسماء بنت عميس إلى أن قال: فقال: أجعلوا لأهل جعفر طعاما فجرت السنة إلى اليوم.

In another hadith from Marazim, he says, “I heard Aba ‘Abdillah (‘a) say, “When Ja’far Ibn Abi Talib (‘a) was martyred in the way of Allah, the Messenger of Islam (S) went to his wife, Asma’ Bint ‘Umays, and after consoling her on the loss of her husband, ordered that food be sent to the house of Ja’far. Thereafter, this practice became the Sunnah of the Muslims and until today, this Sunnah has remained”.2

عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: لما قتل جعفر بن أبي طالب أمر رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم فاطمة عليها السلام أن تأتي أسماء بنت عميس هي ونسائها وتقيم عندها وتصنع لها طعاما ثلاثة أيام.

Aba ‘Abdillah (‘a) said, “When Ja’far Ibn Abi Talib (‘a) was martyred, the Messenger of Islam (S) ordered his daughter, Fatimah az-Zahra (Peace be upon her), to go to the house of Asma’ Bint ‘Amish, and to invite her and the other women of Asma’s house to come to her place for food for three days”.3

Crying For The Deceased

عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: إن إبراهيم خليل الرحمان عليه السلام سأل ربه أن يرزقه إبنةً تبكيه بعد موته.

Aba ‘Abdillah (‘a) said, “Verily Ibrahim al-Khalil (‘a) asked His Lord to give him a daughter so that after his death, she would cry over him”.4

The True Believer Is Content With Whatever Allah Decides

عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: قلت له: بأي شيء علم المؤمن أنه مؤمن؟ قال: التسليم لله والرضا فيما ورد عليه من سرور أو سخط.

It has been narrated from Aba ‘Abdillah (‘a) that I (narrator of the hadith) said to him, “How does the true believer know that he is (indeed) a true believer?” The Imam replied, “(A true believer is one who) submits to Allah and is content with whatever He puts upon him up - whether it be something that brings him pleasure or something that brings him anger.5”

The True Believer Is Always Surrounded By Difficulties

عن محمد بن بهلول ، عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: إنما المؤمن بمنزلة كفَّةِ الميزان، كلما زيد في إيمانه زيد في بلائه.

Muhammad Ibn Buhlul relates from Aba ‘Abdillah (‘a) that he said, “A Believer’s station and position (with Allah) is like that of a scale, such that as his faith increases, his difficulties also increase.6”

عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام في حديث قال: إذا أصبت بمصيبة فاذكر مصابك برسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم، فإن الخلق لم يصابوا بمثله قط.

It has been narrated that Aba ‘Abdillah (‘a) said, “Whenever you are afflicted with difficulties, you should remember your difficulties with relation to those that the Messenger of Islam (S) faced, since there is no one who faced greater difficulties than he.7”

عن علي بن محمد ، عن صالح بن أبي حماد ، رفعه قال: جاء أمير المؤمنين عليه السلام إلى الأشعث بن قيس يعزيه بأخ له، فقال: إن جزعت فحق الرحم أتيت، وإن صبرت فحق الله أديت، على أنك إن صبرت جرى عليك القضاء وأنت محمود، وإن جزعت جرى عليك القضاء وأنت مذموم، الحديث.

It has been narrated from ‘Ali Ibn Muhammad from Saleh Ibn Abu Hammad Rafah that when the brother of Ishas Ibn Qais left the world, Amir al-Mu’minin ‘Ali Ibn Abi Talib (‘a) went to see him and offer his condolences. After this, he said, “If you show impatience and grief (concerning the deceased), then you have fulfilled the rights of your family; and if you show patience, then you have fulfilled the right of Allah.

Therefore, if you observe patience over incidents that happen to you, then what is decreed will come to pass for you while you are to be praised and commended; but if you have grief and anxiety and are not patient when things befall you, then what is decreed will come to pass for you while you will be blamed and rebuked”.8

The Reward Will Be Taken Away From One Who Is Not Patient In The Face Of Difficulties

عن زرارة ، عن الصادق عليه السلام قال: من ضرب يده على فخذه عند مصيبة حبط أجره.

Zurarah related that al-Sadiq (‘a) said, “Someone who hits his knees when a misfortune befalls him (because of not having patience), loses the reward of that misfortune”9.

Explanation: This hadith has been related from the Prophet of Islam (S) and ‘Ali Ibn Abi Talib (‘a), and Musa Ibn Ja’far (‘a) in which all of them have mentioned that the reward of that which has come to pass, is taken away for not having forbearance and patience in front of the difficulties and hitting the knees (as a sign of grief).

The Reward For Saying “Indeed We Are All From Allah, And To Him Is Our Return”

In a well-known hadith from a companion of Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (‘a), it is stated that, “I heard the Imam (‘a) say that anytime a Believer is struck with problems and difficulties in this world, that time one says:

إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون

“Indeed, we are all from Allah, and to Him is our return” (2:156).

Then Allah forgives him his past sins. Of course these are the minor sins, not those which are counted as the major sins, since the major

sins are those which Allah has promised the punishment of the fire of Hell for, which if performed continuously, guarantee one the fire of Hell”.

The Imam (‘a) also said, “If at any time in one’s life, one recollects about a tragedy that befell him, and then repeats:

إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون

“Indeed, we are all from Allah, and to Him is our return” (2:156).

Along with these words, if he thanks Allah, then Allah will forgive him those sins that occurred during the time one said the above sentence, except for the major sins”.

The Reward For Offering Condolences

عن السكوني عن جعفر بن محمد الصادق عليه السلام عن آبائه عليهم السلام قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم من عزى حزينا كُسِيَ في الموقف حلَّة يجبر بها.

It has been narrated from Sakuni from Ja’far Ibn Muhammad al-Sadiq (‘a) from his fore-fathers (Peace be upon them) that the Messenger of Islam (S) said, “Whoever offers condolences to one who is grieving will clothed with a beautiful and respectful robe on the Day of Judgement”10.

عن جعفر بن محمد الصادق عليه السلام عن أبيه عن آبائه عليهم السلام عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم قال: من عزى مصابا كان له مثل أجره من غير أن ينقص من أجر المصاب شيء.

It has been narrated by Ja’far Ibn Muhammad al-Sadiq (‘a), from his father (‘a) from his fore-fathers (‘a) that the Messenger of Islam (S) said, “Whoever consoles a person who has had a misfortune befall him will receive the same reward as the one who is facing the tragedy without any reward being decreased from the one facing the misfortune”11.

The Help That Those Who Are In Grief Receive From Angels

عن أبي بصير ، عن أبي جعفر عليه السلام ، أنه قال: إن ملكا موكَّلا بالمقابر ، فإذا إنصرف أهل الميت من جنازتهم عن ميِّتهم أخذ قبضة من تراب فرمى بها في آثارهم، فقال: أنسوا ما رأيتهم ، فلولا ذلك ما انتفع أحد بعيش.

Abu Basir narrated that Abu Ja’far (‘a) said, “Verily, Allah has commanded the angels in the graveyard that when the people leave the deceased, that they (the angels) take a hand full of dirt and sprinkle it around those who are leaving and say to them to forget what they have just seen. If this was not done (and tragedies and misfortunes were never forgotten), then not a single person would be able to enjoy life”12.

The Reward For Comforting An Orphan

عن غياث بن إبراهيم عن الصادق عليه السلام عن أبيه عليه السلام عن آبائه عليهم السلام قال: قال علي بن أبي طالب عليه السلام وما من مؤمن ولا مؤمنة يضع يده على رأس يتيم ترحُّما له إلا كتب الله له بكل شعرة مرَّت يده عليها حسنة.

In a hadith narrated from Ghiyath Ibn Ibrahim from al-Sadiq (‘a) from his father (‘a) from his fore-fathers (‘a) that ‘Ali Ibn Abi Talib (‘a) said, “No believing man or woman places their hand on the head of an orphan to comfort him, except then Allah records a good deed for every strand of hair that their hand covers”13.

عن الحسن بن السري عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: ما من عبد مسح يده على رأس يتيم رحمة له إلا أعطاه الله بكل شعرة حورا بوم القيامة.

Hasan Ibn Sara relates from Aba ‘Abdillah (‘a) that he said, “Anytime a servant (of Allah) strokes his hand on the head of an orphan as a sign of love and affection, Allah will grant that person a Huri in Paradise for every hair that was under his hand”14.

The Reward For Soothing An Orphan

عن أبي مريم الأنصاري قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم إن اليتيم إذا بكى إهتز له العرش فيقول الرب تبارك وتعالى من هذا الذي أبكى عبدي الذي أسلبته أبويه في صغره فوعزتي وجلالي لا يسكته أحد إلا أوجبت له الجنة.

It is related that Abu Marium Ansari said that the Messenger of Islam (S) said, “When an orphan cries, the ‘Throne (of Allah) shakes and at that My Lord, Glorious and High is He, says, ‘Who is it that has made this servant of mine cry, whose parents I have taken while he is still in his childhood? By My Power and Glory, I will make Paradise incumbent on that person who stops this child from crying’”15.

The Reward For Having Patience And Forbearance

عن أبي حمزة الثمالي عن أبي جعفر الباقر عليه السلام قال من صبر على مصيبة زاده الله عزَّا إلى عزَّه وأدخله الجنة مع محمد وأهل بيته عليهم السلام.

Abu Hamzah al-Thumali relates from Abu Ja’far al-Baqir (‘a) that he said, “Whoever shows patience in the face of difficulties, Allah will add honour to his honour, and will make him enter into Paradise with Muhammad and his Ahl Al-Bayt (‘a)”16.

عن أبي بصير عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: سمعت أبا جعفر عليه السلام يقول : إني لأصبر من غلامي هذا ومن أهلي على ما هو أمرُّ من الحنظل إنه من صبر نال بصبره درجة الصائم القائم ودرجة الشهيد الذي قد ضرب بسيفه قدَّام محمد صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم.

Abu Basir relates from Aba ‘Abdillah (‘a) that he said, “I heard Aba Ja’far (‘a) say, ‘I show patience and forbearance with this slave of mine and some members of my family with respect to things that are more bitter for the mouth than colocynth. Verily, anyone who adopts patience and forbearance will receive the reward of one who fasts, stays awake during the night in prayer, and will attain the rank of a martyr who fought alongside the Prophet (S)’”17.

The Reward For Showing Patience Over The Death Of A Child

عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: ولد واحد يقدمه الرجل أفضل من سبعين ولدا يبقون بعده يدركون القائم عليه السلام

Imam al-Sadiq (‘a) said, “If the child passes away before the father (and he shows patience), the reward is greater than if the man passes away and leaves behind seventy children who remain alive and meet al-Qa’im (‘a)”18.

عن أبي عبد الله عليه السلام قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم: إذا قبض ولد المؤمن والله أعلم بما قال العبد. قال الله تبارك وتعالى لملائكته: قبضتم ولد فلان؟ فيقولون: نعم ربنا. قال: فيقول فما قال عبدي؟ قالوا: حمدك واسترجع، فيقول الله تبارك وتعالى: أخذتم ثمرة قلبه وقرة عينه، فحمدني واسترجع، ابنوا له بييتا في الجنة وسموه بيت الحمد.

It has been narrated from Aba ‘Abdillah (‘a) that the Messenger of Islam (S) said, “Anytime the child of a believer passes away, Allah knows best what His servant says (at this loss). Allah says to His Angels, ‘Did you take the soul of this man’s child?’ The Angels reply, ‘Yes, O’ Allah.’ They are then asked, ‘At that time when My servant was facing this difficulty, what did he say?’ The Angels reply, ‘He praised you and recited:

إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون

“Indeed, we are all from Allah, and to Him is our return” (2:156).

Then Allah will say, ‘(Even though) you took the light of his eyes (his child), with the exception of praising me and the reciting of

إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون

“Indeed, we are all from Allah, and to Him is our return” (2:156).

He said nothing else - thus, build a house for him in Paradise, and name that house the House Of Praise”19.

عن علي بن أسباط رفعه قال: كان أبو عبد الله عليه السلام يقول عند المصيبة: الحمد لله الذي لم يجعل مصيبتي في ديني، والحمد لله الذي لو شاء أن يجعل مصيبتي أعظم مما كانت، والحمد لله على الأمر الذي شاء أن يكون فكان.

‘Ali Ibn Asbat narrated that, it was the custom of Imam al-Sadiq (‘a) that anytime a difficulty arose, he would say, “Praise be to Allah that this difficulty that has come is not a difficulty in the religion (meaning not a test of the beliefs). Praise be to Allah since Allah is the All-Powerful and could have made this trial greater than it is. Praise be to Allah that this trial was put before us”20.

Rule 153 B

It is (also) Mustahab that a person should observe patience on the death of one of the near ones, especially on the death of his son, and, whenever the memory of the departed soul crosses his mind, he should recite:

إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون

“Indeed, we are all from Allah, and to Him is our return” (2:156).

One should (also) recite the Holy Qur’an for the sake of the departed ones. A person should also visit the graves of one’s parents, pray for the blessings of Allah for oneself and should make sure the grave is solid so that it may not be ruined easily.

Rule 154

As a matter of Ihtiyat, one must refrain from scratching one’s face or body, or pulling out one’s hair as a sign of grief. However, slapping one’s head or face is permitted.

Rule 155

It is not permissible to tear one’s clothes on the death of anyone, except on the death of one’s father and brother, although according to Ihtiyat Mustahab, one must not tear one’s clothes on their death either.

Rule 156

If a wife mourning the death of her husband scratches her face causing blood to come out or pulls her hair, then according to Ihtiyat Mustahab she should set a slave free, feed ten poor people, or provide them with clothing. The same rule applies if a man tears his clothes on the death of his wife or son.

Rule 157

The Ihtiyat Mustahab is that while weeping over the death of any person, one’s voice should not be very loud.

• 1. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 237.
• 2. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 237.
• 3. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 237.
• 4. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 242.
• 5. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 252.
• 6. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 263.
• 7. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 267.
• 8. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 270.
• 9. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 270.
• 10. Thawab al-A’mal, Page 441.
• 11. Thawab al-A’mal, Page 441.
• 12. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 278.
• 13. Thawab al-A’mal, Page 443.
• 14. Thawab al-A’mal, Page 443.
• 15. Thawab al-A’mal, Page 445.
• 16. Thawab al-A’mal, Page 440.
• 17. Thawab al-A’mal, Page 440.
• 18. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 246.
• 19. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 246.
• 20. Wasa’il al-Shi’a, Volume 3, Page 247.