Rebecca Masterton

There is not a lot of information in the resources about the women of the Ahl al-Bayt (as), but we can infer from understanding more about their context what some of their qualities were: they were of the politico-spiritual elite and supported the mission of Islam without putting a foot wrong. This must mean that they were both politically and spiritually knowledgeable. Sayyidah Zaynab (s) was trusted enough to teach in place of Imam al-Husayn (as) if he was not available.

Therefore, to be more like them we need to seek knowledge of Allah (swt): how He is understood Islamically and how we draw Him near to us as a friend; we need to seek wisdom and we need to understand what is wise behaviour. Islam recommends that we contemplate and reflect in order to deepen our understanding of everything, so regular moments of contemplation are recommended.

Understanding the context in which the women of the Ahl al-Bayt (as) lived can also help you to understand what role their played: what was society like in Late Antiquity and Arabia at that time? What changes to society did Islam bring?

It is good to combine a traditional reading of the Hadith and historical collections with academic studies to gain a fuller picture of how they managed to live under very difficult circumstances.
Platforms such as Academia.edu, JSTOR, Scribd, Internet Archive and Research.net can provide you with many free pdf books and papers.
 

As the Ahl al-bayt (as) have said: 'one hour's reflection is worth seventy years of worship', it is good to get into the practice of reflection: to reflect upon the phenomenon of existence first and foremost, and to strip away all concepts of yourself, your social situation, and just get right back to the fundamentals of you as a human being. What is a human being? What is this planet that has been created in this universe? What is that which has created all of this? What is consciousness and awareness?

There is a part of you that is 'other' than the you who you are in your social and political context. This part of you is detached from all of that, so frequent connection to the part of you that transcends the social and historical you can connect you to who you really are. Frequent reflection on who you really are is a good place to start.

Also, when it comes to challenges in life: reflect upon how you think and thought patterns that you have that may affect how you deal with those challenges.

Also, prepare from now for your journey to the next world. What do you want to do with this opportunity of life that you have been given before you leave? How will you prepare for death?

I hope this helps.

Everyone has different methods of self-growth, different approaches to life, and philosophies. Sometimes, someone that may be intent on following a certain path, or programme of self-development, may not see the limitations of that approach from the perspective of their spouse, who cannot follow the same programme, due to the limitations that they see, or issues with the approach.

I am not saying that this is your situation, but I have seen it in some cases. Be careful not to alienate your spouse in focusing upon your inner work, as marriage is also a part of that inner work. The challenges between two people are often what actually forces a person to grow, and to mature.

The danger comes if someone actively tries to undermine you. That is a totally different situation, and would call into question the foundation of the marriage, but if they are allowing you space, even though not actively on the same page as you, then you can work towards what you have in common as friends and allies.

There needs to be a balance between both people: both allowing some space for the way the other person is, while also bearing in mind each other's obligations.

Don't expect them to follow your programme - perhaps they have a viewpoint that could be beneficial to you, which you can't see at the moment.

These are just suggestions, as I don't know your personal situation.

I am sorry that you are having to go through this at your age. Firstly, you should not have to choose to stay with any parent. Being pressured to stay with one parent or another today constitutes as emotional abuse. If you have a good relationship with your father, then you are not under any obligation to stay with your mother. The fact that she is using religion to threaten you and coerce you into staying with her is disturbing, and implies possibly a history of emotional manipulation. There are now many helpful videos on youtube on how to handle emotional manipulation by parents, such as 'The Cra**y Childhood Fairy' and Jerry Wise. Emotional manipulation can damage a child for life, so you need to learn to make sense of what is happening to you and how you can handle it effectively in a way that maintains your self-protection and healthy mental and emotional growth.

It may not be Shaytan. You would need some evidence of that. It may be because, when you pray, sometimes you suspend the actively thinking part of your mind. Your mind relaxes in some sense. If you feel a yawn coming try to slow down in your actions slightly, close your mouth, breathe slowly in through your nose and regulate your breathing before continuing.

In both Hebrew and Arabic, the word 'yawm' means 'a period of time', not only 'a day' consisting of twenty-four hours.

In Semitic languages, numbers are also symbolic. E.g. 'Seventy' means 'many'.

'Six days' therefore really means 'a number of periods of time', or 'a number of stages'.

There is also a verse in the Qur'an that says that 'one day for your Lord is as 1000 years in the time that you count.' (22:47)

https://www.islamweb.net/en/article/134278/relativity-in-the-quran

Please feel free to message me for more information: info@onlineshiastudies.com

Family unity is of vital importance. It sounds like there may be other issues here - more than that of halal food - possibly issues of balance of power between your parents. Why would your mother not want to be with your father? Is your father respected in the family? Do you have a close bond with him?

Islam generally teaches that something small done consistently is better than doing too much and then stopping. Body and soul are not actually totally separate. They are integrated. Keeping healthy and physically fit is vital for the well being of the soul. Nowadays many doctors are saying that some forms of depression can be caused by an unhealthy gut; conversely emotional stress can affect digestion and therefore overall body health. Try to establish a pattern, or a good habit, when you do dhikr or other matters directly related to the soul - a time of day where you are least likely to be disturbed, or tired, or your mind overloaded. Even just contemplating the creation when you are out walking in the road can nurture the soul.

Dedicating yourself to seeking knowledge requires sacrifice for many years. When others are outside in the park on a sunny day, you have to be indoors writing up a paper. I use the 'delayed gratification' technique with myself, where I tell myself that maybe this summer I will not have time to enjoy, but later on inshaAllah I will see the benefits of the work that I put in.

Many people also get work done by concentrating on about two or three things at once. If you are studying a subject that you have to, but are not deeply interested in, then you can alternate studying it with turning your attention to another book, or another lecture. Even if you are interested in it, you may want to study it alongside something else.

It's important to get up, walk around, get enough exercise. The life of study is not always healthy.

It is very important to have a quiet space to work. You have to be disciplined about not engaging with calls, messages and texts. Set yourself a goal, or a deadline of what you want to achieve when, and sit down to do it. This is a world where people today expect instant responses to their messages, and if you want to get work done, it's just not possible to do that. Over time they will understand that you are working on something.

Try to avoid emotional drama. Being upset or distracted is not good for study. Do not watch anything dramatic late at night. That will upset your sleep for the next day.

Have one or two people that are doing the same as you that you CAN communicate with - your peers. This will encourage you to keep on working.

Reward yourself for engaging in a long period of study. For example, after one month of intensive study, take a break somewhere, or go somewhere to walk. Give yourself breathing space, before making your firm intention to return again to the work.

Praying for your success.

Posted below are a range of responses to your question, and also links. Jonathan Brown's answer is quite detailed, and seems fairly plausible. In short, the person 'Uzayr could be an amalgamation of two personalities in history. Secondly, the term 'son of God', used in one of the Books of Enoch, has a different meaning from how Christians used the term. It just meant someone pious. There does not appear to be an extensive tafsir of this ayah in Imami books, but I will update this if I find it, inshaAllah.

https://drjonathanbrown.com/2016/the-quran-the-jews-and-ezra-as-the-son-...

https://www.britannica.com/topic/First-Book-of-Esdras

On Quora:

"Meir Lipnick: Did any Jews actually refer to Ezra as the Son of God, as the Qur'an claims?

Originally Answered: Did any Jews actually worship Ezra as the son of God, as the Koran claims?

If such a sect existed ever, it would be such an outlier that no memory of it exists amongst the Jewish people today. Suffice it to say that every religion has groups of heretics that spring up from time to time. I had never heard of this particular bit of heresy before. When I wrote this answer: Meir Lipnick's answer to Who was Uzair in Jewish literature? about a year ago, I had never heard of this controversy, and had not thought of any reason why this question would be asked. Having read some of the other answers and discussion on this question, it makes sense. Still, this seems to be a very odd controversy. The discussion that it was only some small sect of Jews living in Yemen in the 11th century CE is quite baffling given certain legends that Yemenite Jews felt snubbed by Erza and no Yemenite Jews would name their children after him despite being a prominent biblical figure. See the Wikipedia article on Yemenite Jews
(early history). As the article continues, this particular legend is probably apocryphal, but the fact that it exists seems very counter to the passage in the Quran and any accompanying commentary.

What makes this even more baffling is the nature of this bit of heresy. The whole "son of God" motif is very pagan in character. All legitimate Jewish הַשׁקָפָה (outlook) characterizes God as a single entity, one non-corporeal being. The idea of Him having a son is simply a contradiction in Jewish theology.

Now, this did happen one time in history that such a heresy came about. Christianity could be said to have evolved from a Jewish heresy involving a cult of personality surrounding a particular individual. But, this doesn't translate well to Ezra. There was no cult of personality around Ezra. The Book of Ezra in Jewish scriptures clearly discusses a human being and his pivotal involvement in some of the goings on around the time the Jewish people first returned to Israel after the Babylonian exile. No claim in this book ever mentions anything supernatural about Ezra. He is regarded very highly as one of the founding members of the Great Assembly, but he's not even called a prophet! The era of prophecy ended when the first temple was destroyed many decades before Ezra. But the Book of Ezra shares no similar characteristics as the Christian New Testament. The cult of personality behind Jesus is quite obvious in the New Testament."

"A history of the Jews of Arabia Book by Gordon Darnell Newby Page 61 :
We can deduce that the inhabitants of Hijaz during Muhammad's time knew portions, at least, of 3 Enoch in association with the Jews. The angels over which Metatron becomes chief are identified in the Enoch traditions as the sons of God, the Bene Elohim, the Watchers, the fallen ones as the causer of the flood. In 1 Enoch, and 4 Ezra, the term Son of God can be applied to the Messiah, but most often it is applied to the righteous men, of whom Jewish tradition holds there to be no more righteous than the ones God elected to translate to heaven alive. It is easy, then, to imagine that among the Jews of the Hijaz who were apparently involved in mystical speculations associated with the merkabah, Ezra, because of the traditions of his translation, because of his piety, and particularly because he was equated with Enoch as the Scribe of God, could be termed one of the Bene Elohim. And, of course, he would fit the description of religious leader (one of the ahbar of the Qur'an 9:31R) whom the Jews had exalted."

"George Sale Alkoran of Mohammed page 152 (1923):
This grievous charge against the Jews, the commentators endeavour to support by telling us, that it is meant of some ancient heterdox Jews, or else of some Jews of Medina; who said so for no other reason, than for that the law being utterly lost and forgotten during the Babylonish captivity, Ezra having been raised to life after he had been dead one hundred years, dictated the whole anew unto the scribes, out of his own memory; at which they greatly marvelled, and declared that he could not have done it, unless he were the son of God. Al-Beidawi adds, that the imputation must be true, because this verse was read to the Jews and they did not contradict it; which they were ready enough to do in other instances

Jewish life in late Antiquity was relatively centralized in Sura, Pumbedita and Tiberias, with most Jewish splinter groups being obliterated by then (the emergence of multiple Jewish denominations is a modern phenomenon, while Karaites emerged during the late Abbasid period). The idea that God could have a son has been universally considered antithetical to Jewish thought.

Talmudic sages in general in general saw Ezra as the greatest figure after Moses. The Quran may present a mockery of Rabbinical Judaism by accusing Jews of calling Ezra son of God and taking Rabbis as their lords. Indeed, throughout the Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, many condemnations of Rabbinical Jewish practices could be found."

https://www.quora.com/Why-does-the-Quran-say-that-the-Jews-believe-Uzair...

Quranic tafsir depicts Ezra in a slightly different way. Some tafasir say he was a prophet, although he could have just been the equivalent of a 'sabiq' (in Islam 'someone of the foremost group of righteous people').

"Uzair is Arabic for Hebrew Ezra. This is the only verse in the Holy Qur’an where such a reference is made. Who is this alleged Jewish son of God? After the Babylonian conquest of Jerusalem at the hands of Nebuchadnessar, the Torah was lost. Since there was none who remembered the law when the Jews returned from captivity, God raised up Ezra from the dead a hundred years after his death. When the Jews saw him thus raised from the dead, they said he must be the son of God. This is the contested view of some scholars. This raising from the dead is confused with another incident which actually took place to someone else and which is narrated in the Holy Qur’an in 2:261. It involves Bal’am (Balam) ibn Ba’r, a learned Israelite, who passed by a dead town (some say Antioch or one of its suburbs) and wondered how God would bring it back to life. The Almighty caused him to die then raised him back to life to see for himself that He can do anything at all."

https://www.al-islam.org/ninety-nine-attributes-allah-yasin-t-al-jibouri...

https://www.iranicaonline.org/articles/ezra-nama

https://www.iranicaonline.org/articles/ezra-book-of

Sometimes mothers find it hard to accept that their children are adults. If the child is now a man, then he needs to be respected as a man, and not emasculated and controlled by a woman, even if that woman is his mother. If the child is a woman, the mother needs to understand  that by attempting to micromanage her daughter's life she is actually crippling her emotionally, and this will cause problems either with finding a husband for her daughter, or with her daughter's already existing marriage.  According to the teachings of the Ahl al-Bayt (as), the respect due to parents is conditional upon how they treat their children. It is well known that according to ahadith, it is recommended that after the age of fourteen, the child should be treated as a 'friend', not as a seven-year-old. There is a non confrontational method of establishing boundaries called "grey rock", which you can find out more about on YouTube. You may also want to research "narcissistic" or "controlling" mothers, and something else called "emotional enmeshment". I will update this answer further with references inshaAllah.